Monday, January 25, 2010

Self Preservation

As I analyze my relationships with people, and I here stories of past relationships, (be it platonic or romantic) I am finding that social interaction is something that keeps us all sane. As humans, we need the freedom of being able to interact with one another in order to accomplish everyday tasks and further bonds but most importantly, strengthen the spirit. A life in utter solitude is one of the most dangerous lifestyle CHOICES one could possibly apply to his or herself. Without interacting with other people for a somewhat lengthy period of time (i.e. a few hours to a day) I notice that when I do get the chance to have someone to speak to, I become a furry of information. It can be overwhelming for the person who is on the receiving end of this tornado of words. I notice that after being alone for a period of time, I desire a conversation with another being, simply because the internal conversations I have become monotonous and obsolete. Having someone on the other end of the conversation provides another perspective and reinforces the human identity which keeps us infinite and grounded in our reality.
Do not cut me to the quick, I value my alone time more than anything. I look forward to it everyday because I am surrounded by people all of the time. When I am alone, I reflect on my life in the past, present, and the ever so near future. I am learning to not dwell on the past as much and to live in the present as much as I can because before you know it, the year is over and you are no more further along than you were in the start of the year. I do not believe in New Year's Resolutions but the one thing I promised myself this year is to live each day to its fullest and to take one day at a time. Self reflection allows this to happen and is necessary in building the spirit and eliminating the toxins society creates for us. I find healthy and sometimes creative mediums to channel this energy (ex The Boy Who Knew Too Much blog). In a world filled with so much pollution, self reflection offers a sort of clarity, that to priceless.
Overall, I am willing to bet that the most important moments in your life, that helped shape your identity, were not spent alone; someone was there with you. People provide the spirit with lessons and memories that are vital to our growth. It is important to surround oneself with people who are not trying to stifle this intrinsic right we all have been given as sentient beings. People who are on the same wave length as I are the ones I find the best connection with and value their presence more than others. No matter what, I am comfortable around numerous people, and just as happy keeping to myself; balance is everything.


The human condition is a complexity no DNA strand can ever reveal in its entirety. We as humans (which essentially means animals) desire the same common interests, yet go about achieving them in different ways, and often times in ways that do not yield results. For example, most of us desire more money in order to gain whatever it is we want; a car, a house, friendship, love, a new rolex with diamonds lining the rim. Some of us would put in more hours at work, others would spend less, and some would demand a raise in order to gain whatever it is he or she desires. Some of these actions will yield better results whereas some of these will not yield any. One can really judge someone's character based on the paths he or she decides to take on their journey in achieving whatever it is they want.
The other day a friend was explaining to me that he desires a loving relationship with someone more than anything. After a few failed attempts at finding this bliss, his spirits have weened and his self-esteem bruised. I thought to myself in that moment, that love, the desire to be loved, and the ability to love back are actions that we as humans expect at a certain point in our lives. We've seen it played out before our eyes even before we could speak. Blonde princess in distress, knight in shining armor to the rescue, they kiss and instantly fall in love and get married. One can not imagine what the world would be like if this is how relationships actually formed. In many tribes, marriage and love are two different ideas; no one marries based on love. Actually, one would be lucky to have even met their spouse before they "tie the knot" because in many places, the husband picks his wife-to-be out of a jumble of women and hopes he at least picked one that will put up with all of his demands. If these indigenous people can remove the idea of love from a relationship and get married based on things like economic status, land ownership, and political standpoint, why can't we here in the western world do the same? Why are we conditioned to believe that love needs to be the main factor as to who we spend our time with and who we are intimate with? We even have a national holiday in February that tells us on this day, if you don't have a lover, you are essentially a loser. This has now become a case of nature versus nurture.
The funny thing about love is, is that it is a basic human desire that is embedded in our blood, yet some people have no idea how to attain it, or deal with it once it's there. Some people use it as a weapon, others do not know how to function without it, and some, like my friend Jason, want it so badly that it is all they think about. What I found reassuring about Jason, is that he is determined on finding that story-book ending we've all seen so many times on the big screen. This fantastical idea does not seem fantastical to him and his naivety is surprisingly charming. I can agree that relationships are overall more enjoyable when both players share a common love for one another. Nothing is more beautiful than watching two people, who do not have very much figured out besides the fact that they love each other, go at life together and learn lessons along the way. Sometimes, it just would be great if there was a fast-forward button to the part where they kiss and live happily ever after.