Monday, January 25, 2010
The human condition is a complexity no DNA strand can ever reveal in its entirety. We as humans (which essentially means animals) desire the same common interests, yet go about achieving them in different ways, and often times in ways that do not yield results. For example, most of us desire more money in order to gain whatever it is we want; a car, a house, friendship, love, a new rolex with diamonds lining the rim. Some of us would put in more hours at work, others would spend less, and some would demand a raise in order to gain whatever it is he or she desires. Some of these actions will yield better results whereas some of these will not yield any. One can really judge someone's character based on the paths he or she decides to take on their journey in achieving whatever it is they want.
The other day a friend was explaining to me that he desires a loving relationship with someone more than anything. After a few failed attempts at finding this bliss, his spirits have weened and his self-esteem bruised. I thought to myself in that moment, that love, the desire to be loved, and the ability to love back are actions that we as humans expect at a certain point in our lives. We've seen it played out before our eyes even before we could speak. Blonde princess in distress, knight in shining armor to the rescue, they kiss and instantly fall in love and get married. One can not imagine what the world would be like if this is how relationships actually formed. In many tribes, marriage and love are two different ideas; no one marries based on love. Actually, one would be lucky to have even met their spouse before they "tie the knot" because in many places, the husband picks his wife-to-be out of a jumble of women and hopes he at least picked one that will put up with all of his demands. If these indigenous people can remove the idea of love from a relationship and get married based on things like economic status, land ownership, and political standpoint, why can't we here in the western world do the same? Why are we conditioned to believe that love needs to be the main factor as to who we spend our time with and who we are intimate with? We even have a national holiday in February that tells us on this day, if you don't have a lover, you are essentially a loser. This has now become a case of nature versus nurture.
The funny thing about love is, is that it is a basic human desire that is embedded in our blood, yet some people have no idea how to attain it, or deal with it once it's there. Some people use it as a weapon, others do not know how to function without it, and some, like my friend Jason, want it so badly that it is all they think about. What I found reassuring about Jason, is that he is determined on finding that story-book ending we've all seen so many times on the big screen. This fantastical idea does not seem fantastical to him and his naivety is surprisingly charming. I can agree that relationships are overall more enjoyable when both players share a common love for one another. Nothing is more beautiful than watching two people, who do not have very much figured out besides the fact that they love each other, go at life together and learn lessons along the way. Sometimes, it just would be great if there was a fast-forward button to the part where they kiss and live happily ever after.